Thursday, October 17, 2013

On My Morning Walk

Every morning I head out for a walk. I have been doing this for just about a year now and in that time it has become a completely essential part of my day. During my walks I spend time thinking about all sorts of things. Everything from what we have going on that day to the events taking place in our world to what we're having for dinner are contemplated during my walks. I use that time to reflect on our family (our family being the four of us that share this space together daily, as well as the rest of our of family who is not here with us all the time but that is always on my mind) and all that's going on. I think about the things that we totally rock at as well as the things that we may need to pay more attention to. This is my time, and I savor every step, every thought, every minute that I'm walking. I take in the sights, the sounds, the goings on of the town that we call home. It was in my morning walk taking that I began to see the beauty of this town, a place that I have struggled with for many moons. Having grown up in a beautiful, small town in Connecticut living in this town (which is, technically, a city) has had me feeling like a fish out of water for a good long while now. If truth be known, it's a much bigger place than I'd like to be living and raising my babies in. Regardless, seeing this town by foot has made me truly appreciate it and feel much more connected to it. These walks have been such a blessing in more ways than I can count. 
Most mornings when I head out Emma is awake. She is, after all, the first tiny human up each day. Each day begins with her snuggling in bed with David and I. Slowly, as her Papa and I wake up we roll out of bed. First David, then me. Each day as I get ready she asks: "Mama, can I come with you on your walk?" Usually I reply with a "Oh, Em, I'll be back soon. I walk so fast, sweet girl." and she generally seems OK with that. So yesterday when she asked I surprised her by saying "yes". She quickly got ready and off we went. We walked hand and hand, this adorable walking companion of mine and I, and as we walked we talked about all sorts of things. She got to see our town as it was just starting to get going. Main Street was pretty much a ghost town and the few people that passed by us smiled and said "good morning". Those "good mornings" always make me smile and feel so welcome though there seemed to be an extra sweetness to them yesterday as she and I walked together. We chatted about how much fun we were having and made a plan that we would take a walk in the snow together, just Emma and I, on the first snowy day. As we were coming to the end of our walk we passed by the local Catholic school. Emma got to see the kids heading off to school and it was then that she held my hand a little tighter and said: "I am never going to leave you, Mama." I have always known how much our girls love this sweet life of ours but there was something about that moment that just made it all the more clear for me. It was then that I also realized how much having that time together- just Emma and I- meant to her. I'll surely bring her along on my walk again. And I will do the same with Grace too. What a special way to start the day and what a wonderful way to connect each of these sweet girls that I get to be mama too. I'm looking forward to our next walk already. 

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