Good-Bye, Sweet Friend

This sweet soul crossed the rainbow bridge today. She lived an incredible eighteen years, of which she was part of our world for twelve. In those twelve years a lot of life happned and Gretchen was my constant companion through it all. I will miss my friend, my co-worker, my sidekick, my sweet girl. My lap will be a little cooler without her around, and my office won't be the same without my beloved co-worker to keep an eye on me and all I do. They say grief is the debt you pay for having loved. I don't think I will ever be able to pay this off. Rest well, Miss Gretchen. Word on the street is that you had a dog and a cat waiting to welcome over. Until we meet again, sweet girl. xo  

A Life Well Lived

One hundred two years is nothing short of incredible, so when I chatted with my mom on the way home from work yesterday and she told me that her dad, my grandfather, the girls' great-grandfather had passed away there were no tears shed. After all what is there to cry about when someone has lived 102 years to the absolute fullest?! The only thing that makes me sad is that due to the pandemic he was not able to have family by his side when he left this world. However, I take comfort in the fact that there is no doubt in my mind that he has been reunited with my grandmother (the absolute love of his life) who I know he has missed every day for the last twenty-one years that he has been without her. I am grateful that he was able to be at our wedding (and gracious, did he have a fabulous time!) and I am grateful that he got to meet the girls a couple of times when they were little. My only regret is that we didn't live closer and get to spend more time together. Rest in peace, Grandpa Luke and enjoy every minute of  being reunited with the love of your life. May we all live as fully (and as long!) as you did! Until we meet again....xo

The Power Of Animals

The girls and I take Jake for a walk in October. 

Last night when we brought him back to his family.

Last night, as we drove to get chocolate ice cream, I shared this story with the girls. I wanted to be sure to record it here, because it truly is one of the sweetest things I have ever experienced.

This past Wednesday, when Dave was at the hockey rink and the girls were sound asleep, I sat down on the couch with only the light from the Christmas tree for light. The house was silent and the glow of the tree was lovely. Almost as soon as I sat down, Jake got up from where he was laying and came over. He sat down in front of me (facing me) and gently put one paw on my lap. He looked at me as if to say "thank you for these last two months." Just typing these words brings tears to my eyes just like his sweet gesture did that night. It's as if he knew his time with us was coming to a close. 

I absolutely believe in the power of animals. The power they have to connect with us, to communicate with us and to understand us. I have believed this my entire life (thanks mom!),though some experiences are more profound than others. This was one such experience. 

After I shared that story with the girls I also told them the final story of Albert. For those that may not know or for those who have forgotten, Albert was the dog that Dave and I had from the first summer we lived in our house until the day after Dave's grandmother's funeral when we helped him to find his rest. He was with us just shy of ten years. Albert was a pug, which was never a breed I ever had any interest in owning, yet I promised Dave (who never had a dog yet always wanted a pug) that if he bought me a house with central air we could get a pug. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think we'd have a house with central air (at least not our first house!) yet that's exactly what happened so I knew I had to make good on the "pug promise" (which is what I did). The night that Albert passed, after everyone was in bed, I went into the kitchen to turn out the light above the stove. And there, at the door, I swear I saw Albert looking at me as if he needed to be let out. I caught my breath. "How could it be?" I thought and it was then I realize that it was his soul leaving the house. It was a final good-bye from that sweet boy of mine. I opened the door and out he went.

So just like the experience of letting Albert's soul go, the interaction with Jake on Wednesday night was indeed a powerful one. I am grateful for both experiences even if they will forever tug at my heartstrings. xo 

Christmas With Jake

Today we celebrated Christmas with Jake since he'd be returning to his family this evening. We had originally thought he would be with us until spring but as plans and circumstances often do, things changed and they were able to have him rejoin them sooner. Because of this, the girls asked if we could celebrate Christmas with him before he left. Plans were made to do all of Jake's most favorite things: a car ride -or two-, a walk, peanut butter, and gifts (because what's Christmas without a gift or two). 

 After his gift from Emma we headed over to Cushing which had been a favorite place of ours to take Jake. A car ride + a walk?! Could this day get any better?!

After our walk, followed by a few errands on our way home, it was time for Grace to give Jake his gift. 

He's clearly into this gift opening thing! 

 Since it was also Saint Lucia Day today we had to make a batch of cinnamon rolls (as is our tradition. Maybe one year we'll try our hand at making Lucia buns instead). This also gave the girls and I a chance to wear the fancy December aprons my Aunt Gail made. 

 Jake is such a good helper! 

And then it was time to take our pal home. We packed up the car, took one final selfie (similar to the first one we ever took of the four of us) and headed over. The three of us were a bit choked up on the way over (and during the drop off) and after we said our good-byes and  "see-you- soons" tears absolutely flowed on the way to get ice cream (because, according to Emma, "times like this just call for chocolate ice cream"). It was such an honor and an absolute privileged to be able to help our friends this way and to be able to welcome this sweet soul into our family these past two months. There's definitely a Jake sized hole left in our hearts and the house is gonna feel a bit too quiet for the next few days I am sure. Thank you, dear friends, for choosing us to be Jake's foster family. It truly was such an honor and a blessing and we are happy to take him anytime. xo 

In Remembrance

A gift of remembrance for us from the amazing staff at Tufts Veterinary Hospital. xo

Good-Bye Sweet Piggie

Our week began on a very sad note today. Our sweet piggie, Ginger, has not been herself for the last few days, and after we discovered a large amount of blood coming out of her bottom last night it was decided that a trip to the vet was in order today. 

The staff at Tufts Veterinary Hospital were completely amazing, and quickly discovered that she had a very large uterine tumor inside her. Since she was so very old, and had lived such a truly fabulous life the girls and I made the very hard, but very right, decision to say our good-byes and let her go on to the great Guinea Pig garden in the sky. The kindness, compassion and guidance of the Tufts staff is a true testament to why they are the best of the best. We are so eternally grateful to have entrusted this moment, and her final ones, to this team of professionals. We are so thankful to live so close to this incredible institution. 

 The hardest thing about today was that the girls learned first hand that you can make the (hard) choice to say good-bye. I had prepped them prior to leaving for Tufts that there may be "big decisions" that we'd have to make, and that they'd get a say in the decision making process. We had recently watched an episode of "All Creatures Great and Small" where a horse had to be put down and it was then that we talked about how sometimes the most kind and compassionate thing you can do for an animal is to help them let go. Thankfully we were able to refer to that today, and I truly believe that helped these two sweet girls as they made this very hard, very big decision. I'm also pretty sure that I watched them grow right before my eyes at Tufts today, too. 

 And so tonight, our family ends this day slightly smaller than it began. The picture above is one that I'd forgotten about until our dear, sweet friend, Alexandra, posted it on my Facebook timeline this evening. All three of our pets who've passed on are in this beautiful picture of the girls meditating in the evening light. Who knew at the time how truly special this picture would be? We are taking comfort in the notion that Ginger is reunited with her beloved sister, Parsnip (who passed June  2014) and with our sweet old pal Albert, too (who we said good-bye to March 2014). Good-bye, sweet piggie. You will be very missed. Say hello to Parsnip and Albert for us. xo

Good-Bye, Old Friend.

We said good-bye to our sweet, fifteen year old dog Albert today. He lived such a good and full life and was loved by all who knew him. The house is a little too quiet tonight and our hearts are left with a hole that only Albert can fill. We are thankful for the many years we had with our sweet guy. He was with Dave and I through (almost) ten of our (almost) twelve years of marriage. Through our journey through The Land of Infertility. To becoming parents- twice. Through good times and bad, Albert was there through it all. He was my constant companion, always, but especially these last seven-and-a-half years that I have been home full time. He followed me everywhere, no matter if I was simply going to the next room, he was always there making sure that I was safe and watched over. Good-bye, Old Friend. We will miss you, always. xo.