Wednesday, November 9, 2016

What Do I Tell The Girls?

I went to bed at 1:30am hoping beyond hope that I would wake up to very different news about who was to be the next president of our country. All that kept swirling in my head was "how can this be happening?" and "what will I tell the girls in the morning?"

After a few fitful hours of sleep I woke up and immediately checked to see what the results were. Tears filled my eyes as I saw the words "Trump has been elected the 45th President of the United States."

How? Why? What do I tell the girls?

So I took to Facebook and poured my heart out.

"So, let me get this right," I wrote. "Billy Bush looses his job over that disgusting Trump audio and yet Trump gets no fall-out from it and gets promoted to the highest office in our country?! America, I am absolutely applauded and ashamed of you! I thought we had progressed over the last several decades, instead you have taken many, many steps back in the electing of Trump. I have no idea how to explain to my girls that you would rather them live in a country where it's ok for men (one of which is the President-elect) to talk about (and follow through on) sexually assaulting women than it is for a woman to be in the White House. That we now live in a country where walls will be built to keep people out, where an entire religion of people will need to "register", where many of our friends marriages are in jeopardy, and where the color of your skin clearly matters more than the content of your character. I am embarrassed to be an American and will continue to feel this way for the next four years (and God help us if he wins a second term). He may be America's president but he is not mine. I cannot and will not be lead but such a horrible, horrible man and such an awful, awful family. Love has not won. The only history that was made was that we now have a completely unprepared buffoon at the helm. I am heartbroken. I am terrified. I am sick to my stomach. America, I thought you were better than this."

I hit post and felt better. And then I cried copious amounts of tears. All the while feeling so helpless, so scared, so completely terrified and continuing to wonder: "what do I tell the girls?"

Thanks to my friend Gwen's comment I was able to begin to figure out how I would explain the outcome of this election to the two sweet souls who have been entrusted to my care.

And so, when they woke up the first thing they asked about was the election. And this, dear friends, is what I told them:

"While hate and fear won last night, we will continue to stand on the side of love and kindness and speak up for what is right. Today, though, we will simply be sad, and we will grieve that our country chose a man who is incredibly unqualified to be President of the United States."

Grace cried.

Emma became silent.

I went on to say: "I hope that in your lifetime you see a woman become president. I hope that in your lifetime you see love, kindness and compassion become the driving forces of our country instead of the hatred, bigotry and racism that currently is. Friday is Martinmas. Friday is our Lantern Walk. And while our lights may feel very dim right now, when we join together with our friends they will make even this deep darkness seem less dark and less scary. We must show the world that we will continue to shine. That we will continue to love. That we will continue to be compassionate."

And with that, my friends, I think whatever I had left in me is officially drained out of me. We need today to "just be". To just be sad. To contemplate what's next. To be gentle with ourselves and our spirits. xo


  1. Beautifully put my friend. Thinking of you all today. xo

    1. Thank you, Kim. I am still so absolutely heartbroken but I take comfort in knowing that I am not alone in these feelings. Thank you for your thoughts and love. They are greatly appreciated. xo

  2. Weeping with you and pointing my feet and heart and mind toward the work of love and compassion and progress.😢

    1. So glad that we have each other to lean on, dear friend. xo

  3. I don't know you personally but you have said so beautifully what I wished I could say. I now know what to tell my 7 year old daughter. I feel like the bullies on the playground have won but I am going to stand up to them another day.

    1. Hi Elena, I am so glad that you found my blog and were able to find comfort in these words. I, too, feel like the bullies have won, but have hope that in the end love will win. xo